International Relations

I know, I’ve committed the cardinal sin of blogging: being too lazy to write regular updates. For a while I was able to blame it on the censorship thing, but now that I’ve got a few people back in the states set up to post these remotely there’s really no excuse. It’s not that I don’t want to write these, it’s just that I’ve fallen into a similar trap as I did during my time in Thailand where, after work when I have some time to sit down at the computer and write, instead of opening up Word, I open up the Legend of Zelda. I swear, my blogging productivity will get much better once I can defeat the pirates and enter the water temple.

Enough stalling, time to actually talk about what’s been going on. My actual lab work has started now…kinda. The first experiment that I’m working on basically involves filling up a large (like, over half a ton) piece of flexible pipe with water until it’s about to explode. What’s that? You say this doesn’t sound safe at all? Yeah, it’s not. I’ve been trying to convince them of that, and at least the thing is tied down now. They tell me it won’t actually blow up, and I don’t think it will either, at least on paper. However, ever since that fateful solids lab lecture where we spent 40 minutes discussing why, during the course of one’s research one should avoid drinking ethylene glycol (antifreeze), my lab safety-sense has been honed to a razor’s edge. We’d hoped to start not blowing things up earlier this week, but we’ve been having some technical difficulties with all the sensors used to measure how the flexible pipe will flex. Allegedly we’re going to try again tomorrow, but I’ll believe it when I see it.

Outside the lab, things have been much more interesting. This past weekend was the 60th anniversary of the founding of DUT, and the university had an absolutely massive celebration to commemorate the occasion. This was a blast from the foreign-outsider-not-really-a-student perspective, but I swear that if Rochester tries to do this for next year’s 160th anniversary, it will make everyone’s life really unpleasant. Thankfully though, this didn’t seem to be the sort of thing that any American university would ever try to, or be able to, pull off. Like I said though, between the giant stage shows, the really cheap and delicious street food, and the throngs of student organization booths, we had a great time.

On Friday night I’d wandered down to the main square, where I stood in the drizzle and watched the dress rehearsal for the huge performance that was to take place each of the next 3-4 nights. With my command of the Chinese language limited to basic pleasantries, food items, lab tools, and offensive things to say in bars (for some reason this is a big section in the phrase book, so we took it upon ourselves to memorize some of the better ones, just in case), I had no idea what was going on. Still, the scale of the performance was really impressive, particularly with the gigantic lighting and sound rigs that had been erected on either side. The whole thing had a kind of Olympic Opening Ceremony feel to it, as a seemingly endless cast danced on and off the stage. I also could have seen it fitting in well at a communist Disney world somewhere, especially as the 50 foot statue of China’s most revered leader gazed intently downward from his monolithic post. I like the idea of the leader of the club that’s made for you, me, and all the other workers: Chairman Maose*

While the show was interesting, it couldn’t compare to Sunday’s extravaganza of meandering rows of stalls lining every major street on campus. We were just wandering around looking for some lunch, when a girl ran up to us out of nowhere and asked us if we were foreign students. Umm, what was your first clue? The next question out of her mouth caught us a bit off guard: “Do you want to play beer pong?” Why yes, thank you for asking.

Turns out that our new friend was a leader of the campus English club who had heard about the game from some Scottish guy. She brought us over to their stall, where they had already prepared all the appropriate beer pong paraphernalia. Apparently, though, while they knew the basic layout of the game, none of them actually knew any of the rules or had ever played it themselves. Running into the hapless Americans though brought instant authenticity and street cred to their display, and once my roommate John and I had got things up and running, we drew the biggest crowd on the block. After I’d surrendered control of the table to the first player in the lineup that had formed behind me, I stepped back and surveyed the chaos that we’d created and had one of those, “I’m not quite sure how I ended up in this situation but I’m sure glad I did because this is freakin’ hilarious” moments. Now, I know that eventually this text will wind up in the hands of my grandmother, so I should point out that there was not a substantial amount of alcohol consumed by anyone, us Americans had maybe two beers at most. However, when applied to the standard Asian tolerance, “not a substantial amount” becomes “the best English club meeting ever”. Here’s to international understanding.

*Often accompanied by his wacky lisping friend, Donald Deng Xiaoping.